Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Still no AF...but another YAY! (NO...NOT Preggo!)

I started my infertility blogging in 2007...I wasn't all that good with updating it inbetween treatments, but I made sure I blogged the important stuff. Then, we took a break. I became a bad blogger. I quit using the email tied to my blog account...I forgot the email. I couldn't log into my blogger account and wasn't motivated enough to figure out how to do it. Once we decided to adopt, I put the infertility stuff in the back of my mind and started an adoption blog. The email that was tied to that blog was comprimised and everything was wiped out. I recently started this blog when we started ttc again and was instantly sad that I didn't have the old infertility blog to refer back to so I could see just how darn far we'd come. The other day, I received a message from an old friend whom I'd shared the old infertility blog with MANY years ago. Low and behold, the old message with the link to the old blog popped up and I could click on it and read my old blog! I can't even explain how happy this makes me! So, I am "following" my old blog because I don't know the email address or any other information I had back then. But, at least it isn't gone forever! If you're interested, it's in my "Following" column on the left side of this blog. I believe it's saved as "ttc baby number 2" or something like that. Enjoy!

As for me, I'm still waiting on cd 1. I threatened my body to start by noon or I'd call the RE and "tell" on it for not starting. It attempted to start, but by noon-ish, I wasn't impressed. So, I called the RE and left a message asking what I should do. Keep waiting? Anyone who knows me knows I lack patience. I'm all for giving myself more hormones to get things rolling. I don't really make any hormones to begin with, so I'm sure all of the estrogen I was given over the last two months has these lady parts beyond confussed! Besides, now that these parts are in top notch condition, I'd like to use them! And, no, again, I'm NOT pregnant! Frustrated, yes. Pregnant, no.

Monday, February 27, 2012

So excited, you'd think it were me that was preggo!

So, while NONE of my family or friends (minus a small amount of online friends and ONE person I know in real life) have access to this blog, I feel it is safe to post, nameless of course, about a very special person that I couldn't imagine being happier for! Actually, she's the only person I know in real life that I've told about this blog. And that was just the other day :) (I'm pretty private about my infertility feelings. What can I say?!)

After a yearS long struggle, she is pregnant! I cannot even explain how happy this makes me. More interesting and moving is the effect it had on me when she announced it. I completely understand the feelings that an infertile person has going through this journey. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. For me, what made it worse...she was one of my very best friends through elementary and middle school. We kept touch in high school and over the last few years, have reconnected through FB. When I learned of her struggle to conceive, it made me so incredibly sad. She is, seriously, one of the sweetest, kind-hearted people to walk this planet. I've never known her to say a bad word about another person. Of all people in the world, she should be a mom. She'll be the most amazing mom! So, when I read of her success after her yearS long struggle, I actually cried. Then, when I saw her beta, I cried again. I don't think I'd have been happier if it were me announcing it.

This happy crying over someone announcing a pregnancy is something new to me...not even an ounce of "woe is me". Which, I've done in the past. I am truly happy and my heart is smiling for her!

Sunday, February 26, 2012

And, now...Optimism!

For the last month, I've just been living life. It's been great! Our doc said we can't try for the first month while my uterus heals, so I've been thinking of everything but trying. That part has been nice. I've been taking time to enjoy my family and get my house in order after the holidays.

I am now a week late. So, now I'm over the "heal and not try" relaxing phase. I want my cycle to start so I can get things underway. My RE said that after the bcp I was on before surgery and the estrogen I took after surgery, I could throw out the rule book on when I'd start. Which means, me being late is just a sign that my hormones are WAY messed up after all of those meds. And, NO, I'm not pregnant. Don't feel preggo, in the least...and I already took an hpt so I could tell my RE's office that I did when I call tomorrow. I know there are meds I can take to get it started. I think I'll probably need those to get me going this time. At least my surgery site has had ample time to heal and I won't have to worry about that when I do get pregnant. Because, I will! See that. Optimism. Now, to join the hope I have in my corner, comes optimism!

At my post-op appointment, our RE said that he feels fairly sure, that with the size of my septum, it was our main cause of our infertility. I teared up right there in his office. He really feels that 2 or 3 iui's will be what we need (and a LOT of meds) and we'll have our little miracle baby. I really do believe him. I know in my heart, there have been many times over the last few years that I have felt pregnant, gotten light, positive hpt, only to start AF a week late. I've been pregnant (for sure) at least two times that have been confirmed. Once you feel that feeling, you know when you feel it again. And, I feel pretty certain that I won't have to feel it again until it's a sticky and strong pregnancy. Thank God we found Dr. G!