Friday, September 27, 2013

Feeling down

Today is a down day. I'm not going into much detail here, but please, please, please, if you read this blog, just say a prayer for us this weekend. This weekend will either be amazing or...not. I've never prayed so hard in my entire life. This weekend, I give it all over to God.

More details coming soon. I promise.

Monday, September 23, 2013

I earned my stripes!

I am a champion and you're gonna hear me roar! I LOVE this song and it's been on repeat on my ipod for a few weeks.


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Tough times, made easier with Grace

Tonight, my dear friend asked me to go on a walk with her. She was stressing and needed to vent. Little did I know, on this walk, we'd run into an acquaintance walking with her husband. This acquaintance was walking with her husband, three curly hair girls, and her swollen belly. Yep, she is having her 4th baby in the amount of time that we've been trying for one.

Typically, I can tell myself that everything will be okay. I don't want what she has. I mean, I do want a big family, but just not her family. Well, today she found out that her 4th baby will also be a girl. Four girls. Get this, she was crying. Sad as heck. Feeling like she let her husband down. As she was complaining to my friend and I, my blood pressure started to escalate. I just couldn't understand. She started telling me that I could have her 4th baby (joking of course. But, who hasn't heard this if you've been trying for a baby?!) and I had first dibs on her uterus. Seriously?

Now, not only was I ticked, I was offended. Where was her empathy for me? At one point in this conversation, I realized that I was talking about "boy" stuff and instantly stopped myself, realizing that I might be upsetting her. I have more empathy than a normal person though, so she maybe didn't even notice it. But, for freaking real. This was my evening.

But, as I sat there, putting up with the same stupid "you can't get pregnant" comments, I instantly thought about the Grace I've been working on finding. And, ya know what? If freaking worked. I realized that it really will be okay. But, strangely enough, I realized that I am so blessed. For the first time in ten years, I have something in my life that she is jealous of. But, I certainly am not happy about this for her sake. It just helped me realize that I am so blessed. God's Grace has blessed me beyond belief.

Are we in a pregnancy rut? Yep. Can we get out? Absolutely! I have complete faith in God that the desires He put in our hearts will soon be answered and better than we could ever imagine.

I also realized that infertility has blessed us. This other couple has "accidentally" gotten pregnant all four times. They have never known the desire and years long want for a child. Our love for our totsicles has been growing for ONE DECADE! That is a lot of love! My heart is overflowing with love for babies we haven't even conceived yet. This couple? Well, they are upset with their gift. It makes me sad for them.

For the first time in ten years, I know with 100% accuracy, that I am blessed and it's only by the Grace in my heart!

Friday, September 6, 2013

What a week!

Education is certainly changing. Not only do educators have the start of the year stuff to deal with, but with the state legislators thinking they know how to run our classrooms...well, it's been hectic with the new mandates. I won't get into it because it's boring if you're not an educator and includes multiple acronyms that I don't feel like explaining on a Friday night. Let's just say that the field has changed drastically in the 13 years I've been in the classroom and the changes aren't making it better for the kids.

Aside from working myself into an early sleep each night, not much is going on around here. Ayden started the 4th grade and he loves it. So, between school and football, this is one happy kid. He is getting a little more sarcastic, which cracks me up! He got it from me and I'm just so darn proud!

Well, I'm off to take a nap and then go to bed.