Friday, August 31, 2012

2 weeks post op and future plans

I had my post op yesterday and, surprise, the pathology report said that I have endo...our re thinks it's best if I do a full 12 week hormone suppression rather than our original plan of 8 weeks because it was so nasty inside this time. I'll continue to suppress my periods after the 12 weeks and up until our ivf cycle. The meds are making me sweat like a crazy woman and are making me extremely moody! I went off on the McD's manager because it took them 20 minutes to get our food. But, it's flipping McDonalds and that was insane. But, the hubs claims he's noticed,too. He asked if he could let me know the next time I started freaking out so I could stop. For his safety, I didn't think that was such a great idea. Our plan is to do IVF in February/March and so we have until then to save every penny we can. I think it's pretty interesting how we always said we'd never head down this road, yet, here we are! The RE said that there is most likely endo inside of my tubes that is getting in the way of the tubes functioning, so IVF is our best bet. With couples in our same situation, our re is having 65-70% success. Finally, the odds are greater that it will work than that it won't! The best news yet, he thinks I still have many years to keep adding to our family. He has amazing success with women under 38 and I'm still under for a few years. He was very hopeful. My RE wanted me to meet the IVF nurse. It was a little scary because it made it that much more real. What a sweet soul she is though. She promised me that every person on the IVF team has the most respect for creating life and consider their work a blessing. She gave me her number and email address, and just like that, I became an IVF patient. I am so hopeful. It's hard for me to trust other people so fully, especially with something so private and difficult, but I'm slowly learning to do so. However, for the time being, I'm going to enjoy being pain free and not having to put up with a period until next year!

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I've been endo upgraded...

Which in endo land, is a bad thing. I had always had stage 2 in the past. Well, I officially have stage 3. It was horrible in there. Endo was everywhere, bowels, uterus, cervix, and that pouch that is near the back. Then, the fun stuff. My right ovary had been, in the surgeon's words, cemented against my pelvic wall. He said it took a long time to free it back up. Then my left Fallopian tube had attached to my bowel. He was able to remove that, also. He wasn't able to get the endo fromm bowel, so my next surgery will have to be in Atlanta. I need to save $5k-7k for that one, but the docs at the endometriosis care center in Atlanta will get it all. Hopefully, this surgery gives me a few years of relief, but I'll just need to wait and see. As for my bladder, I definitely have intercystial cystitis. The doctor took pictures to show us the bladder disease, which looks like little hemorages inside of my bladder. Ouch! We also have photos of my pelvis and all of the disease. I can add them to my scrapbook of other ute photos I've collected over the years.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Tomorrow. I wanna run the other way.

I have so many emotions to deal with today. First, I'm so angry that I even have to have surgery again. I'm so angry that I spent so much of my youth taking care of mysel , making sure I was healthy, only to have to spend the rest of my life dealing with endo. Sure. There's Atlanta and surgery there, but I can't afford the travel plus surgery costs. So, I'm forced to have mediocre surgeries for who knows how long. Oh. And the whole infertility thing. Fuck you endo. You have literally ruined my 20's and are almost halfway through ruining my 30's.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Finally back up and running!

I think I've finally figured out why I couldn't post. Stupid technology! Anyway, lots of busy summer days have passed, many family trips have been taken, and I'm closer to surgery...yikes! I a mildly freaking out about my surgery this Friday. Of course, I'm ready to not be in pain, but surgery brings in many different kinds of pains. Mostly, I'm a little worried that I won't be as healed as I'd like by Monday, my first day back at school. Yep, I'm freaking a little. The kids don't come until Tuesday and my RE said he thinks I should be good to return to work by, sorry doc, that's not gonna work! So, I'll just grin and fake it. After that last period, I'm pretty sure I can handle anything. Ugh. I still haven't been able to forget that. It was horrible. Which is why I'm super thrilled to do hormone suppression for a few months after my surgery. No periods! Basically, I'm taking the pill and Femara for eight weeks and then just the pill until we're ready for IVF in the Spring. When my RE mentioned that he didn't want me to have any periods at all during that time, I couldn't agree to try it fast enough! Only endo suffers can understand when I say, I cannot believe that I'll have MONTHS without pain and I cannot wait! I've been on bcp to prevent AF before surgery and it has been wonderful! I did have a couple of days of cramps, but that's it. Pure heaven! I have actually found myself smiling more and feeling genuinely happy because Im not in some sort of pain all the time. I must say: I like myself this way much more. So, surgery is this Friday. I hope he's able to fix everything and leave nothing behind. Oh, I'm also having my bladder blown up to check for intercystial cystitis. Basically, my bladder has no lining. There's no cure, but there are treatments. Lucky me. I'm off to enjoy these Olympics and spend time with my amazing little man!