Tough times, made easier with Grace

Tonight, my dear friend asked me to go on a walk with her. She was stressing and needed to vent. Little did I know, on this walk, we'd run into an acquaintance walking with her husband. This acquaintance was walking with her husband, three curly hair girls, and her swollen belly. Yep, she is having her 4th baby in the amount of time that we've been trying for one.

Typically, I can tell myself that everything will be okay. I don't want what she has. I mean, I do want a big family, but just not her family. Well, today she found out that her 4th baby will also be a girl. Four girls. Get this, she was crying. Sad as heck. Feeling like she let her husband down. As she was complaining to my friend and I, my blood pressure started to escalate. I just couldn't understand. She started telling me that I could have her 4th baby (joking of course. But, who hasn't heard this if you've been trying for a baby?!) and I had first dibs on her uterus. Seriously?

Now, not only was I ticked, I was offended. Where was her empathy for me? At one point in this conversation, I realized that I was talking about "boy" stuff and instantly stopped myself, realizing that I might be upsetting her. I have more empathy than a normal person though, so she maybe didn't even notice it. But, for freaking real. This was my evening.

But, as I sat there, putting up with the same stupid "you can't get pregnant" comments, I instantly thought about the Grace I've been working on finding. And, ya know what? If freaking worked. I realized that it really will be okay. But, strangely enough, I realized that I am so blessed. For the first time in ten years, I have something in my life that she is jealous of. But, I certainly am not happy about this for her sake. It just helped me realize that I am so blessed. God's Grace has blessed me beyond belief.

Are we in a pregnancy rut? Yep. Can we get out? Absolutely! I have complete faith in God that the desires He put in our hearts will soon be answered and better than we could ever imagine.

I also realized that infertility has blessed us. This other couple has "accidentally" gotten pregnant all four times. They have never known the desire and years long want for a child. Our love for our totsicles has been growing for ONE DECADE! That is a lot of love! My heart is overflowing with love for babies we haven't even conceived yet. This couple? Well, they are upset with their gift. It makes me sad for them.

For the first time in ten years, I know with 100% accuracy, that I am blessed and it's only by the Grace in my heart!