NOT missing AF

The drugs are working! This past weekend AF should have arrived and didn't! I can't even tell you how wonderful that was after the last couple of years of AF's from hell. Just as exciting is that I attempted to run two days ago. The actual run was amazing. No pain during a run for the first time in many years. That was wonderful. Unfortunately, I've paid for it the last two days. My incisions were uber sore. I'm really thinking that it's just scar tissue forming, which isn't surprising after four surgeries. I was mad about it yesterday, but there isn't much I can do about it, so why waste my time with something out of my hands. In my hands, however, are my own feelings about IVF. I'm coming around. Growing up Catholic certaintly hasn't helped. I just keep telling myself that God isn't one religion, so it can't be up to one church to make the rules. With becoming more comfortable with ivf has come talks with the hubs. We're pretty sure we'll put two embies back, but I'm not exactly built for twins. I'm 5' tall. I realize that many short women have carried twins, but I know how I looked with just Ayden...I was a flipping house. We'll talk to the RE and get his opinion as the time gets closer and there's a chance that only one will even implant. For now, I'm enjoying no pads, no cramps, and being able to stand up straight while I walk for an entire month! To celebrate, tonight, I'm going for run number two...

Learning a new normal.

I started working out again today. I thought I took it slow enough, but I've been pretty sore this evening. Bummer. I'll try again tomorrow, but my hopes of taking up running again might have to wait a couple more weeks. However, I cannot wait to start running with the endo gone. It will be pain free and uber relaxing! Also, I'm working on changing my diet to an endo friendly diet. I need to get the endo that is left to shrink and go into remission. While the hormone suppression will help until ivf, the diet needs to be a life style change. The endo diet is a no red meat, no sugar, no caffeine, no wheat, no dairy diet. It's very strict and sounds awful. But, I need to decide if I'd rather follow a strict diet or go in for surgery every couple of years. The diet sounds way easier to me. Plus, being healthy feels good and I hate being in pain more than I love eating a steak...most days!

A dream and feeling at peace

I had a dream last night that almost seemed like it really had happened. The hubs and I had just gotten the news that our IVF was successful and the doctor said, "You two sure are going to bring on a lot of tears when you announce this news!" Which, in my dream, made me cry. Of course, my goal isn't to make people cry, but it is a real testament to all of the amazing support we have from our family and the very few friends who we've included in our journey. We are so blessed to have such wonderful people by our sides. In my mind, I imagine the conversation the hubs and I will have someday with our IVF miracle baby, telling him/her how much love grew over the many years we tried to bring him/her into the world. But, it's not just our love, but our family and friends who have said millions of prayers for us. I hope that someday, if he or she is reading this blog or the one from before, they can truly grasp how much I love them already. Not a day goes by that I don't imagine what our life will be like with you here. Once we have this little bundle in our arms, every single penny we spent and tear we cried will have been worth it. In just six very short months, we'll be in the final leg of our journey to bring you home. How exciting is that?!