22 Weeks. What if?

What if I would have quit trying? What if I didn't listen to the hubs and try IVF just one more time. The pain of infertility is so real and deep and I was so bruised and battered from our fight that I was just done. I had given up on my body.

I thank God every single day that I listened to my husband and did IVF just one more time. Under the circumstances, it was crazy. Absolutely crazy. He had just lost his job and it would take all of our savings. But, we trusted God and just went for it. So scary. Nothing went right during the cycle. But, the outcome was perfect.

Here I sit at 22 weeks pregnant. Me. Pregnant. With a sweet baby girl. I had given up on ever having my own daughter. Now, I'm only 4 (almost 3) months away from meeting her. My children are actual miracles.

This week, my baby girl attended her first week of 7th and 8th grade with me. I mean, what choice did she really have? She slept through most of it, but can you blame her? The first week is usually pretty uneventful.

She moves constantly and I love every second of it. The hubs thinks it's creepy. Ha! It's not even inside of him and he can't handle it. He does love to feel her move around and as she gets bigger, hopefully Ayden can be patient enough to feel her, too.

I have slowly let myself pick out room décor for her bedroom. I found some curtains that I love and I'll just do the rest of the room around those. They are yellow, blue, and pink. Not gonna lie. I looked for something with blue in it so I didn't have to repaint the bedroom. I hate to paint. With a passion. So, it'll save time, money, and arguments. I'm in.

I also let myself buy pink stuff last weekend. She now has lots of frilly gowns and sleepers for the first few weeks.

My big baby boy starts 5th grade on Monday. How is it even possible? He does amazing in school, but he isn't excited about starting back at all. This should be an interesting year. I also realized that when this new baby starts kindergarten, my big baby will be in the 10th grade. Holy crap.

And, side note, my boobs are leaking. Gross.