Saturday, August 2, 2014

Don't ever laugh.

When you hold up a giant bra, don't laugh. It just might fit. Then, you'll feel like shit!

My boobs have always been big. I had my first bra in the 4th grade. Sad story. It was embarrassing. I was sure that everyone knew and it was mortifying. My boobs weren't that of a normal middle school child. They were more what a high school teen would be dealing with. So, that was fun.

Well, pregnancy has brought on a whole new growth. The first round of growth started before my bfp and went through the 1st tri. I thought it was safe to buy new bras at this point. They were only two sizes bigger. Not horrible.

Well, they haven't stopped growing. Now, at 19 weeks, these things are escaping from their holder. I knew it was time for new bras (again) when I got off the couch and my hubs asked if I was going to put my boob back in my bra. Nice.

The next day, we went bra shopping. I should clarify. Ayden and the hubs went shoe shopping. They wouldn't be caught dead in the bra section.

I was pretty sure that I went up a couple of sizes, so that's what I went looking for. However, when I found it, I just laughed. There was NO WAY this thing would fit me. It was HUGE. So, I put it back because there was no way I would be seen carrying that thing around.

However, right before going into the fitting room, I grabbed one just in case. I decided to try the thousand-yards-of-fabric bra on first. Once it was on, I laughed. Hysterically. The fucker fit. I mean, really? It's ridiculous.

Like a sad school girl, I carried two huge boob holders (crane included to assist in holding them up) through the store, positive that everyone was looing at them and thinking, "Sweet heavens! That lady's tits are HUGE! Look at those bras! We can use them as boats." I'm sure the checkout lady needed to stretch it out after lifting them up and bagging them.

Lesson learned. Never ever laugh at an article of clothing before putting it on your body. It's just a bad idea.

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