Well, tomorrow is the day. The septum surgery that will help us get and stay pregnant is finally going to happen. I have mixed emotions. On one hand, I'm beyond excited that there is a fixable problem that can be fixed. On the other hand, what if it doesn't work. What if there are still so many underlying hormonal issues that it doesn't matter if I have the perfect uterus. I know. One thing at a time. But, I don't work that way.
Eight years of infertility makes a person jaded. We are always waiting for the other shoe to drop. And then...there's the "what if I get pregnant" stress. Yeah, doesn't make much sense, does it? But, really it does. Pregnancy brings an entirely different kind of worry that scares the living mess out of me. I have this visualization track on my iPod that my doctor recommended. It really did work to help me think more positively. I stopped listening to it when we put the iui on hold and scheduled the surgery. I think I'll start listening to it again next week to help calm my fears.
Okay. Here goes nothing! Next time I write, I'll have a regular bionic uterus capable of carrying a baby during a very healthy and normal pregnancy...how's that for positive!!
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