Making a decision: AKA marriage is one giant compromise

IVF is something that the hubs and I agreed that we wouldn't try. We never really said why each of us didn't want to, we just knew neither of us was interested. For me, when I look at the cost vs. the odds, adoption wins out. For us, adoption and ivf will be the same cost. Clearly, one has better odds of success. Maybe a longer wait time, but I was okay with that. Also, what to do with the frosties? I am not comfortable donating them to another couple or to science, nor am I willing to just throw them away. The only option for me is to eventually, over time, transfer them all. That is just absurd. So, I steered myself away from IVF. Funny thing about time though. I gives people time to think, change their minds, and become stubborn. When I presented my newly found adoption info to the hubs, he was less than thrilled. As in, he doesn't want to adopt a baby. I voiced my displeasure in wasting my time finding information and getting my hopes up, which of course was followed by tears. The hubs wasn't caving. The short, non-intrusive on my hubs' feelings version is: he wants to do ivf. Where the hell did this come from? Left field? For once in my life I was speechless. After I picked my jaw off the floor, we shared our views on the topic. Me: same stance as before we started this conversation. The hubs: if we're planning on saving money anyway, he'd rather it was for ivf. The war jacked him all up. He feels robbed of those first few seconds with his own child. Not the months that followed, just those very first few moments. Apparently, the memo from the Red Cross in Iraq didn't quite cut it. To know all that my husband has gone through since coming home and now voicing that this is the one thing he regrets the most in life, "if" ivf would work, he deserves the chance to try. So, I compromised. We are both comfortable with an older child adoption. So, that's still something we both hope for. Ivf, over the next few days, I came around. If we're going to throw money at something, my whole being would be thrilled to give my hubs this one thing that he can't seem to get over. The man is sentimental to the core. He refuses to hold a baby younger than Ayden was when he met him. Clearly, this is something I should have realized earlier was so important to him, he just never voiced it in quite the right way I guess. So, Thursday is our wtf appointment with our re. At the appointment, I plan on putting together our final chapter in ttc'ing. Although, I thought I already did...ah, life.