Monday, October 21, 2013

Drug through the mud

They decided to keep the little boy with the foster family he is with now. To say this is a surprise is a huge understatement. We were told all along that this was never going to happen because they are old. They are in their 70's. We were told they would be looking at the long term quality of life for the little boy. He is only 15 months old. So, they'll most likely not be around for most of his life.

I absolutely want what is best for him. To say this is what is best, I'm not sure. I feel like we have been lied to for three months and to say that I'm pissed is pretty accurate. Our worker felt horrible because she was floored herself. She said the meeting went on for 2 hours and there was a lot of arguing about the issue. I know that things happen for a reason. If you can explain this reason, have at it.

I'm just exhausted. I'm beat down. Ten years this December, we've spent chasing a dream, like idiots. I was ready to give up and just be done. But, then the hubs checked the expiration date on some meds I had promised to donate to someone just starting the whole RE thing. I had already read the box and it said they expired in May of 2014. We'd never use them by then. But, the hubs checked them as he was putting the ice packs in the cooler this morning before mailing them out and realized that the date on the actual meds don't match what is on the box. So, he called the company. They really expire in Sept 2015. So, he refused to mail them. We argued about this, too. Fun times. So, now, not only was I feeling like shit from earlier in the day, now I'm an ass.

On top of that, the hubs' boss is an complete jerk. I won't get into it here, but he's a horrible person. He treats my husband horribly and I've had it. It's so hard watching him get treated so poorly and not being able to do anything about it. I'm so over that, too.

So, the day before vacation has been one of the worst days ever. The plan for vacation is drinking and crying. And, now the hubs is excited to do another IVF since we have all the meds here already left over. Great, something else I can fail at. I can hardly wait.

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