Skinny Mirrors

I needed to get a few last minute things done before we head to Texas. First up, getting a strapless bra. I'm not here to brag, but my girls are ample. I wear a 32DDD. No, that's not a typo. Yes, these are nearly impossible to find. Try putting these ladies in a strapless bra and the darn thing just slowly falls down around my waist after a couple of hours. So, I needed a good one.

Luckily, Vickie's Secret carries that size in a few of their bras. The lady helping me, Abby, was ready to help me blow $60 on a bra and quickly filled her hands with a couple of choices. She said she'd be happy to help me see if it was the right size after I got it on. Oh, hell no. You're not looking at my girls, perv.

The first one I tried on was the wrong size, but as I looked in the mirror, I was impressed with how long and lean I was looking. Wow, this no carb diet was really helping my gut! So, I proudly called the lady in my dressing room to show her the issue with the bra, while also showing off my hard work, and flat gut. Staring at my middle, I smiled and she ran to get the correct size.

It fit like a glove. I looked skinny as hell. Yeah. Good work self. I felt freaking awesome. I told her I needed to try it on with the dress when I got home to make sure, but it would probably work. Most likely, after a couple of hours, it will fail the ladies, but I'm used to that. I was just so darn proud that my week of starving was paying off.

When I got home, I took the dress and new bra to my bedroom, ready to take another look at myself. Yes, I am apparently vein. Hey, if I can't have more kids, at least I get my body. So, suck it! And, then, I realized that I'd been taken for a fool.

As I stood looking at myself in the mirror, I realized that Vickie's clearly uses skinny mirrors. Not the cheap kind either. The kind they use actually make you glow. They made my legs look long and lean, which should have been the first clue! Standing in front of my own mirror, my gut laughed and laughed. Or was that a wiggle and a jiggle? Damn you skinny mirror. So, next purchase: Span.x.