I had the worst cramping all night. No sleep. Still cramping today, so I'm off work because all I can take is Tylenol. Which, does nothing. I almost broke down and took an 800mg ibuprofen before bed. But, I googled it. Thank goodness I did. Did you know that taking ibuprofen around the time of O'ing kills the egg? Yeah, apparently it does. Who knew? I can't tell you how many times I've taken A.dvil or A.leve around O over the years. Nice job me. Killing my already crappy-ish eggs. My new RE has a HUGE list of "Not-To's" while ttc. This was one of the items on the list and now I know why.
Here's a funny for the 2ww...I received an email from our social worker about a child who is available in Texas. He is CUTE as a button! But, we'd have to get rid of Ayden and the dogs. Neither Chad, Ayden, or I were fond of this idea, so we passed. Seriously, did she read the bio before she sent it?! I think if there were a dud award given to social workers, she'd get it. Seriously.
Enjoy your {LUCKY} Friday the 13th!!
Friday, April 13, 2012
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Let the {2w}wait begin!
It's not everyday that the RE sits on his stool staring into your whoo-ha and starts laughing...oh yeah, the socks!
He LOVED my socks...as did the nurse :) And, I took the laugh as quite a feat, as I've found that most doctors have very little sense of humor. Our RE tends to have a pretty odd sense of humor, but with what he deals with everyday, he'd almost have to!
IUI in the bag! It went rather well. DH's count was more than double what it was last month, which might have elicited a squeal from me. It was the best post-wash count we've ever had, so yay!
Now, the waiting begins. I hate this part. I'm doing the trigger booster on Sunday and then using progesterone suppositories until the beta, so I won't be able to read into any of my symptoms. That might actually be a blessing so I don't spend the next two weeks googling symptoms. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to fill my time, but hopefully it goes by quickly!
He LOVED my socks...as did the nurse :) And, I took the laugh as quite a feat, as I've found that most doctors have very little sense of humor. Our RE tends to have a pretty odd sense of humor, but with what he deals with everyday, he'd almost have to!
IUI in the bag! It went rather well. DH's count was more than double what it was last month, which might have elicited a squeal from me. It was the best post-wash count we've ever had, so yay!
Now, the waiting begins. I hate this part. I'm doing the trigger booster on Sunday and then using progesterone suppositories until the beta, so I won't be able to read into any of my symptoms. That might actually be a blessing so I don't spend the next two weeks googling symptoms. I haven't quite figured out how I'm going to fill my time, but hopefully it goes by quickly!
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Follie Check...cd 11
I wanted three. I got three...but only one mature one. They are measuring 25 (YAY!), 13, 12. Most likely, the smaller two will not grow fast enough by iui day. So, I'll trigger tonight and do a big 150iu dose of Follistim to plump the fat guy a little more. Then, iui on Thursday, cd 13. Works for me.
On another note, I've been having some anxiety issues lately. I was thinking that the racing heart rate was from the meds. I asked my RE about it and he said it most likely wasn't. Then, I began to think about it and realized that I'm probably just flipping out. I mean, who wouldn't freak about dropping $2K in one month on a procedure that didn't work. I'm pretty sure we'll do one more if this one doesn't work. Then, we'll save for ivf. That freaks me out a bit more. We have spent so much money on our infertility woes over the last few years that just thinking about it sends me into a state of freaking. I could have traveled the world a zillion times for what we've spent, out of pocket. But, in the end, it will all be worth every dime we spent. That's what keeps me going.
Update: I just got a call from one of the nurses and my E2 is 352! It was only 150-ish last month! So, quality wise, this is a much sexier egg!
On another note, I've been having some anxiety issues lately. I was thinking that the racing heart rate was from the meds. I asked my RE about it and he said it most likely wasn't. Then, I began to think about it and realized that I'm probably just flipping out. I mean, who wouldn't freak about dropping $2K in one month on a procedure that didn't work. I'm pretty sure we'll do one more if this one doesn't work. Then, we'll save for ivf. That freaks me out a bit more. We have spent so much money on our infertility woes over the last few years that just thinking about it sends me into a state of freaking. I could have traveled the world a zillion times for what we've spent, out of pocket. But, in the end, it will all be worth every dime we spent. That's what keeps me going.
Update: I just got a call from one of the nurses and my E2 is 352! It was only 150-ish last month! So, quality wise, this is a much sexier egg!
Friday, April 6, 2012
The hubs made me :)
This lent, we decided to do a Family Fun Night every Friday night. We took turns picking movies, games, and other fun things to do to end our week. Today, being the last Friday of lent, we took a trip to the zoo. We had already decided to get a membership this year and I put the hubs in charge of buying it while I visited to ladies room. When I came out he whispered that he purchased it and since it would be good for an entire year, he told them it was for two children. :) Oh, how I hope he's right.
After we were done at the zoo, we headed to my favorite place on earth...Tar-jay. Just the smell of that place make me happy. Weird, I know. I was looking for a book to read for the ride home and came across those daily devotion books. Normally, I would have passed right by and headed toward my favorite genre, but I remembered what I was told during my session with the psychic. She said that, while I was very in tune with my mind (true), that I tend to over think everything as a result (very true). She said that I needed to work on the spiritual side of myself. Which was interesting because I'd already decided to let go and leave this cycle in God's hands.
Now, spirituality means something different to everyone, I realize this. I was raised in a strict Catholic home and spent my late teens and a lot of my 20's trying to reinvent what I'd been taught as a kid. However, now that I have a son, we are raising him as a Catholic. Granted, it's no where near the way I was raised. My hubs isn't Catholic, so that help keeps me in check and not over-the-top like my dad was with us. But, what I've realized over the last few years is that being Catholic is part of my identity. I've been embracing it more as I get older. While I don't agree with every single thing (fertility treatments for one, obviously) I like the tradition taught in the church. So, this is where I consider my spirituality coming from.
As I looked at the devotional books, one stuck out more than the others because it had a picture of hot tea on the cover. Maybe it's coffee at second glance. Whatever. I liked the colors on the mug. Yep. That's why I picked it up. Before I opened the book, I told myself that I would only buy the book if today's devotion was in anyway applicable to my life today. If it wasn't, I wasn't wasting my money on it.
Here's what I read from Joel Osteen's, Your Best Live Begins Each Morning:
"The Key to the Promise: So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?" Genesis 18:12; It was nearly twenty years after God first spoke the promise to Abraham that he and his wife, Sarah, were going to have a child that Isaac was born. When Sarah heard the promise again, she and Abraham were close to one hundred years old, and she laughed. She probably said, "Abraham, that's impossible. I'm too old." Nevertheless, Sarah became pregnant. What changed? I'm convinced that the key to the promise's coming to pass was that Sarah had to believe it in her heart before she could become pregnant. And I believe the main reason Isaac wasn't born sooner was simply the fact that Sarah couldn't see it through her eyes of faith. Do you have a promise form God that is waiting for you to believe?"
Shocked, I placed the book in my cart.
After we were done at the zoo, we headed to my favorite place on earth...Tar-jay. Just the smell of that place make me happy. Weird, I know. I was looking for a book to read for the ride home and came across those daily devotion books. Normally, I would have passed right by and headed toward my favorite genre, but I remembered what I was told during my session with the psychic. She said that, while I was very in tune with my mind (true), that I tend to over think everything as a result (very true). She said that I needed to work on the spiritual side of myself. Which was interesting because I'd already decided to let go and leave this cycle in God's hands.
Now, spirituality means something different to everyone, I realize this. I was raised in a strict Catholic home and spent my late teens and a lot of my 20's trying to reinvent what I'd been taught as a kid. However, now that I have a son, we are raising him as a Catholic. Granted, it's no where near the way I was raised. My hubs isn't Catholic, so that help keeps me in check and not over-the-top like my dad was with us. But, what I've realized over the last few years is that being Catholic is part of my identity. I've been embracing it more as I get older. While I don't agree with every single thing (fertility treatments for one, obviously) I like the tradition taught in the church. So, this is where I consider my spirituality coming from.
As I looked at the devotional books, one stuck out more than the others because it had a picture of hot tea on the cover. Maybe it's coffee at second glance. Whatever. I liked the colors on the mug. Yep. That's why I picked it up. Before I opened the book, I told myself that I would only buy the book if today's devotion was in anyway applicable to my life today. If it wasn't, I wasn't wasting my money on it.
Here's what I read from Joel Osteen's, Your Best Live Begins Each Morning:
"The Key to the Promise: So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, "After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?" Genesis 18:12; It was nearly twenty years after God first spoke the promise to Abraham that he and his wife, Sarah, were going to have a child that Isaac was born. When Sarah heard the promise again, she and Abraham were close to one hundred years old, and she laughed. She probably said, "Abraham, that's impossible. I'm too old." Nevertheless, Sarah became pregnant. What changed? I'm convinced that the key to the promise's coming to pass was that Sarah had to believe it in her heart before she could become pregnant. And I believe the main reason Isaac wasn't born sooner was simply the fact that Sarah couldn't see it through her eyes of faith. Do you have a promise form God that is waiting for you to believe?"
Shocked, I placed the book in my cart.
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Just A Friendly Reminder
Exactly what I need going into this cycle. With eight years and three months of trying under our belts, this one is all you God. Thanks for taking over.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
baseline u/s cd 4
I saw the other doc in my RE's practice today. He was just as kind as my regular RE. I can't say enough amazing things about this office! Anyway, with a little hesitation, the RE decided to up my dosage of Follistim for this cycle. I only produced 1 egg last month and he'd like to see 2-4. So, I'm at 75iu, which is actually the recommended low dosage. Not sure why I was below the recommended minimum, but whatever. I'm not anymore.
Also, I already have a couple of bigger follies waiting to go, one on each ovary, (at 8 and 9), as well as 30 smaller ones...yep. I said 30. I didn't mention that to the hubs. He might flip out. Basically, if more than 4 decide to mature, we'll have to cancel this cycle. The RE doesn't think this will happen, he was just amazed at my overly active ovaries. But, you never can tell what will happen. This month, I'm gonna have to let go and let God be in charge. Even with a perfect looking cycle last month, nothing happened. So, with this one already acting weird, it's time for me to let go of the reins, take my meds as instructed, and pray that my time is getting close.
Speaking of how kind every single person is in my RE's office...I literally just got off the phone with the nurse, who had my blood results...I'm not pregnant (no kidding) so I can start Femara. I think she called me "sweetie" five times during the 30 second phone conversation. She might be my favorite nurse there. But, there isn't one I don't adore in the entire practice. Love this place!
I decided that I'm not telling a single person that we're still trying...last month both of our parents knew. When they found out it didn't work, they had that look/sound of pity and that weird thing where they don't know what to say and you know they want to cry because they are so sad that their kids have to keep going through this. As much as I appreciate their concern and love, I cannot handle the feeling that someone is sad for me or having pity for me or whatever it is they are feeling. I'd just rather tell them when we're knocked up and forgo the updates on appointments that I'd rather not talk about. Sorry family, you're gonna have to be out of the loop on this one. I need it mentally. I am always worried about how other people are feeling and wanting to fix it when everyone isn't feeling wonderful. I need to spend that energy on myself this month. I know you'll all forgive me later. So, if you've been given access to this blog or just happen upon it...you are the only people I'm talking to about all this stuff. Maybe it's because I don't have to see your faces or hear your voices if it doesn't work...this is my therapy I guess.
With all that, happy cd 4 to me! I'm off to down some Femara...
Also, I already have a couple of bigger follies waiting to go, one on each ovary, (at 8 and 9), as well as 30 smaller ones...yep. I said 30. I didn't mention that to the hubs. He might flip out. Basically, if more than 4 decide to mature, we'll have to cancel this cycle. The RE doesn't think this will happen, he was just amazed at my overly active ovaries. But, you never can tell what will happen. This month, I'm gonna have to let go and let God be in charge. Even with a perfect looking cycle last month, nothing happened. So, with this one already acting weird, it's time for me to let go of the reins, take my meds as instructed, and pray that my time is getting close.
Speaking of how kind every single person is in my RE's office...I literally just got off the phone with the nurse, who had my blood results...I'm not pregnant (no kidding) so I can start Femara. I think she called me "sweetie" five times during the 30 second phone conversation. She might be my favorite nurse there. But, there isn't one I don't adore in the entire practice. Love this place!
I decided that I'm not telling a single person that we're still trying...last month both of our parents knew. When they found out it didn't work, they had that look/sound of pity and that weird thing where they don't know what to say and you know they want to cry because they are so sad that their kids have to keep going through this. As much as I appreciate their concern and love, I cannot handle the feeling that someone is sad for me or having pity for me or whatever it is they are feeling. I'd just rather tell them when we're knocked up and forgo the updates on appointments that I'd rather not talk about. Sorry family, you're gonna have to be out of the loop on this one. I need it mentally. I am always worried about how other people are feeling and wanting to fix it when everyone isn't feeling wonderful. I need to spend that energy on myself this month. I know you'll all forgive me later. So, if you've been given access to this blog or just happen upon it...you are the only people I'm talking to about all this stuff. Maybe it's because I don't have to see your faces or hear your voices if it doesn't work...this is my therapy I guess.
With all that, happy cd 4 to me! I'm off to down some Femara...
Monday, April 2, 2012
cd3 and Psychic Reading
Here we go again. Back in the saddle. If you fall off, get back on. Try, try again. Ya get the point. I took my 2 Femara pills today and will do so through cd7. Then, I'll start Follistim again. After getting over the shock of last cycle, I realized that, oddly, my body liked those meds. Yes, I was a little moody, cranky even. But, my ovaries weren't all that sore while my follies were growing. That's odd for me. I think it's the Femara, which is supposed to be an endo sufferers best friend. I might be sold.
The great thing about this month is that I have a ton going on to keep me busy. Last month, not so much. I obsessed and thought about being knocked up 24/7...I'm not going to have much time for that this month, so hopefully time will go a little faster. Between Easter and getting ready for my son's First Communion, I'll be pre-occupied...in theory.
I had my first psychic reading yesterday. My hubs, the skeptic he is, thinks it's all a bunch of bologna. I happen to believe it. I can also see spirits that have passed...and talk to some of them...which he also doesn't believe. Whatever. It's true, odd or not. I won't post all of the details quite yet. I'm afraid I'll jinx it. But, I did write it all down so when it does happen, I can look back and say, "Hey, I knew it would happen like that." Honestly, she didn't tell me anything I didn't feel already. It was just nice to have the confirmation because sometimes I think misinterpret messages God is trying to tell me. Needless to say, we're on the right track and getting closer. So, we'll just keep truckin'. (Ohh, I did think of another one!)
The great thing about this month is that I have a ton going on to keep me busy. Last month, not so much. I obsessed and thought about being knocked up 24/7...I'm not going to have much time for that this month, so hopefully time will go a little faster. Between Easter and getting ready for my son's First Communion, I'll be pre-occupied...in theory.
I had my first psychic reading yesterday. My hubs, the skeptic he is, thinks it's all a bunch of bologna. I happen to believe it. I can also see spirits that have passed...and talk to some of them...which he also doesn't believe. Whatever. It's true, odd or not. I won't post all of the details quite yet. I'm afraid I'll jinx it. But, I did write it all down so when it does happen, I can look back and say, "Hey, I knew it would happen like that." Honestly, she didn't tell me anything I didn't feel already. It was just nice to have the confirmation because sometimes I think misinterpret messages God is trying to tell me. Needless to say, we're on the right track and getting closer. So, we'll just keep truckin'. (Ohh, I did think of another one!)
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