I received a call from our case worker yesterday. She said that the random family member will not be able to adopt. So, while that's great news for us, I can't help but be a little sad for the family member because I know what it feels like to be told "no" when it comes to having children. I understand that, obviously, this is what is best for the little boy, but my empathetic self can't help it.
So, we will be hearing from the (I swear I just typed "our" instead of "the"! Wow! That was crazy, unintentional, but just felt right.) boy's CASA (court liaison) to set up an interview. We were told that the CASA worker is very direct and abrasive. Oh joy. She will want to know what our plans for child care will be and what our plans are if both of us die. Fun thoughts. She also wants to know about our family. I'm really starting to question why we did the home study considering all of that info is in there. But, it will be nice to tell it to someone rather than have them read it, I guess. We are one of three families being interviewed. Wow. We have a 1/3 chance of being matched. This is big! This is the closest we've been in this adoption process. If I could be brutally honest, without feeling like I was being offensive, here's how I'd answer the questions and what I'd say to the CASA worker:
Dear CASA worker,
We are a wonderful family. We don't have many serious moments and laugh about everything, and I do mean everything. We love being together. We don't really care what we're doing, we just love doing it together. We love our son. We would die for him. Likewise, we would do the exact same for "this child" because we do anything to protect each other.
The hubs is a police officer. He loves his job, but prefers to be with his family. He is the kindest man you will ever meet. He is a war vet, which means he is always on high alert when with his family. He would do absolutely anything to keep us happy and safe. He works harder than anyone I know. He does this because of us. He is my own hero.
As for me, I am a mother to the core of my being. I love nurturing children and enjoy everything about being around lots of kids. Being a middle school teacher lets me do this everyday and I wouldn't change that for the world. Being a teacher is also in my soul. I crave it. As a mother, I yearn to watch every moment my child is in this world. I love watching him grow and learn new things. From a young age, I wanted a huge family. I always envisioned myself with nine kids. Call me crazy, but like I said, I love children. I assumed that the hubs and I would have all of our children in our 20's and we'd spend our 30's and 40's raising them and traveling together. Adoption is our way of creating a large family.
If I could, I would quit working to stay home with our family. Unfortunately, that isn't possible. I can take a few months off, but it's 2013 and life is expensive. I have a CRAP TON of student loans to pay off...welcome to college 21st century style (Thank you Master's Degree). So, I will work, like many other mothers. But, don't let that fool you. While I'm at work, my desk will be covered with pictures of my family. When I am grading papers, I will glance at the pictures and smile. My soul will be full. I will rush home to love on my children with my whole being. My house might only get cleaned once a week and laundry might pile up, but I'm okay with that. I'm too busy spending my time with my family, making memoires, traveling and learning together.
If, heaven forbid, something happens to my husband and I, our children will live with my brother. He is single and has a great job with amazing benefits. He is also a veteran, so I know that he has what it takes to raise a family because he was taught how to not run away, but to help his loved ones when times are at the lowest points. But, best of all, he is surrounded by family. There are four grandparents to spoil our children and help them grieve. But, since you asked what we will do if we both pass away, I promise you that every single second that we're in heaven, I will spend watching over my children. I will be encouraging them and be their loudest cheerleader. My husband will protect them as though he never left them. They are what make my soul sing. They are my everything.
Sincerely,
Hopeful Adoptive Parents
The final matching conference is on October 21st. That is decision day. It seems so far away.
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