Monday, August 5, 2013

Stop struggling up the mountain. Live in the Valley.

I have always approached my own "in"fertility as a struggle up a steep mountain that I may never get to the top of. But, do I want to be at the top? Isn't the top where it's cold and everything is dead? Wouldn't I rather live in the valley, where life lives, and let life come to me? This is the message I took away when I watched the following:

This is a link to a keynote speech that Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) guru, Randine Lewis, gave at one of her retreats. In the past, I've read both of her books and have wanted to go to her retreat for many years. However, they're expensive and with our fertility treatments, I just couldn't pull it off. However, this evening, I finally realized that she was on YouT.ube and this speech was life changing in the way I think about my own fertility. If you are at the start of your fertility journey or near the end, I promise you that listening to this will be one of the best things you can do for yourself. If you don't want to listen and don't believe me, I'll leave the short version in bullet points below because this type A girl took notes. Yep. Sure did.

The gist: (in no particular order)
  • In order to bring forth life, learn how to live.
  • Come in touch with the healer within you. It's the only healer that can heal your soul.
  • Have courage to do things differently and think about things differently.
  • Overthinking = depletion of the spleen energy (This is some TCM stuff that applies to me. Take it for what it's worth.)
  • Live in the valley. Quit struggling up the mountain.
  • Believe in the fullness of your own spirit.
  • Still do western medicine. Do what feels right within you.
  • No challenge has taken away my longing for a child because the desire isn't wrong. It's there because that desire is deep within my soul and is supposed to be there.
  •  Don't fight the desire for a child. Live with it. Don't let it cause you to stop living.
  • Be in the experience. (IVF/FET) Dance with it. Give yourself to it.
  • I am lucky to still be fertile. We had 22 egg retrieved, 18 fertilized, 4 made it to blast. We have one amazing, living child! I am fertile. Believe it.
  • You are NOT a statistic.
  • Don't throw your desire to have a child away as a way to not think about it. Burying it only harms your soul. Look at it in a different way.
  • Fertility is a mindset. Don't call yourself infertile. Fertility is always there.
  • Light (finding yourself) comes in the darkness (low points in life).
  • Live in the valley so the universe can come to you. Stop struggling up the mountain.

This is the short version of an hour long program. I HIGHLY suggest that you just take the time for yourself and let this change you and how you view your own fertility.

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