Saturday, August 10, 2013

Up late. Napping soon.

Of all the times to get addicted to a blog, I pick the night before I know we're staying out late. Then, I couldn't even sleep in. Great. I'll need a nap. Soon.

I was Goo.gling FET success stories (because why not become more obsessed with getting pregnant) and I came across this blog and couldn't stop reading it. First, she's flipping hilarious. I remember when I was funny. At this current point (and for many points before this very point) I don't find my current situation funny. A cluster. Yes. I find it to be a cluster. But, I'm not laughing. Crying? Yes. I do that. And, speaking of crying, if you decide to read the blog above, you will cry. If not, there's something seriously wrong with you. Maybe therapy will help you find your suppressed emotions?

In reading this blog, I realized that, crap. It could be so.much.worse. And, by worse, I mean the kind of bad that makes you cry the gut wrenching cry when dreams are ripped from your arms. The kind of cry I did for days years after my miscarriage. So, in this blog, she's hilarious and her life is sucking all the life out of her (and me as I was reading it) but I was addicted to her grief. And, her swearing-like-a-sailor attitude. That was addicting, too. If I didn't feel too guilty, I'd adopt the same attitude. I always have a fear that my dad will walk in behind me as I'm dropping the F-bomb. He lives two hours away? Oh. Well, still. Pent up guilt from my childhood. Now, don't get me wrong. If someone cuts me off when I'm driving? Let them fly. But, once Ayden turned three-ish, and he repeated the F-bomb? We ceased all forms of swearing.

So, I was up until 2:30am reading this and sobbing. But, then she lost a lot of weight. She looks adorable. Yay her! Because nothing tells life to suck it like a great weight loss. Or a hair cut. After our failed IVF I cut all my hair off. Think I'm kidding? 10" donated to Loc.ks for Which I ended up not being able to donate because it was "bleached" to a nice beachy blond. So, I cut my beautiful hair into this bob that I can't pull back and it's in my face all the time. I should have just tried to lose the weight from all the IVF drugs.

What I'm trying to say is if you decide to read this, you'll be up late. So, don't be an idiot like me and start to read it at midnight. And, keep tissues close by. I didn't have any near me so I used my sleeve.

But, seriously? Life could be so much worse. So.much.worse.

1 comment:

  1. wow ... i had't read her blog in years ... i am so excited for her that she has adelle! i remember always wondering how such a fun personality could be in ohio and i felt a kinship - lol ...

    hope you are hanging in there, dear!