12dp{last}iui

I have a lot to say, but this darn one finger typing won't last long. So, I'll give the short version. First, I'm terrified for Friday. If this cycle ends not the way I want, I don't really know what I'll do. Besides drink. Second, I'm not feeling positive about this cycle anymore, try as I might. The progesterone has side effects that mimic pregnancy and that's just not cool. Third, every time I think of poas, I get sick to my stomach. Fourth, I'm so sad that Ayden has to be an only child that my heart actually hurts when I think about it. It's all my fault and the guilt from that is enough to drive me half crazy.