Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Busy week next week

We heard from our case worker and the matching meeting has now been moved to next Wednesday at 10am. She said that the boy's worker anticipated that the meeting would last until late afternoon, so to not freak out if we hadn't heard by 3pm even. Easy for her to say.

However, not knowing the outcome of that meeting and not willing to throw all of our eggs in one basket, we are finally going to have the follow up appointment with our RE about our mucked up FET. I'm not sure he can give answers, but I certainly have questions and some demands about going forward. First, we have one frozen embryo left. I need to know if he wants us to just transfer the one or do another fresh and bank a few. I am scared that if we go through all of the meds/process leading up to the transfer of the one lonely embryo...well, if it doesn't make the thaw? I won't be a happy person. We will go with his suggestion on this one, but he had better be really reassuring!

My plan is to press him to add more meds to my protocol. I had a consult with a doctor at SI.RM and it was suggested that with my endo and lack of any implantation over the last decade (minus the one m/c) there is definitely an autoimmune issue here. Ya think? Now, CC.RM doesn't go for the immune treatment. They did want me to do a Lupron treatment for two months before transfer. Uh, HELLLLLL NO! I already have endo. I really don't need to make things worse by adding Lupron. Never. Ever. Not in a zillion years. NO. Even my own RE won't do Lupron to treat endo, thank goodness. Hair loss, weight gain, bone density loss anyone? Endometriosis is an autoimmune disease. Shouldn't all aspects of the disease, including microscopic embryo eaters that live on the cells in my uterus be addressed? I think so.

So, the plan I'm pushing for before we do our FET (or fresh cycle) is to do prednisone, lovenox (or some form of blood thinner), and intralipid infusions. Basically, endo eats little embryos. My uterus is a cavern of hatred. A toxic hell. These meds make it calm the hell down and let the little baby settle in without my body being a raging bitch towards it. The hubs is in agreement. He is fully aware of what endo makes me look like on the outside: screaming, crying, bloated. He can't even imagine what it looks like inside. Yeah. Let's not imagine that. Whore uterus.

Our RE is very open to doing these things, as he's already mentioned them. I just want to do them without having to get anymore tests done. I'm not sure he'll go for it.

Here's my argument: I have endo. I have not been successfully pregnant in 10 years. Nada. Clearly, there is an issue. My gut says it's my endo. My gut has been telling me this for years. Now, listen to me doc or I'm taking my money elsewhere to a doctor that I can verbally force into doing what I say. Not bad, huh?

I think in the three years that we've been with him, he has had plenty of tests run that show I'm a hot flipping mess. What other evidence does he need? None as far as I'm concerned. Lovenox is pretty expensive, so I'm WAY open to other ideas there. We're talking about $900/month. The intralipids aren't too bad since they're only administered every 3-4 weeks or so.

The prednisone? Well, I did the drug study for the company when the drug was first created to be mass produced for the drug company. I always freak out about chirping excessively or gaining a shit ton of weight when I take it. We tested the drug on chickens. And, yes they were aggressive and fat as all get out. Blew up like a blimp. Puffy little bastards. Can't really blame them.

We got to present our findings at a huge drug convention. Sweet stuff. I was on cloud nine and in my element until we were told that the chickens would all be destroyed. Cue hysteria from three college girls. I'm not sure what we thought would happen to the chickens. In the end, we found homes for the control group chickens, but the prednisone-plumped chicks? Gone. If the RE goes for my plan, hopefully I don't need destroyed at the end of this long ass experiment.

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