For real. What you are about to read is for real.

No FET. Going straight for another fresh cycle because who needs money? Not exactly how I intended today to go.


While I am relieved to have a plan in action, I am physically sick to my stomach. For some reason, possibly the intense heartache I endured, I feel like I have failed already. Stupid. I know. I told the hubs that I wasn't planning on being excited for any one outcome over another because I have done that before and I just cannot do it again. So, while I may seem wishy-washy over this, it is merely an attempt to protect my heart.

Back to the appointment. The hubs had to work, so I went alone. How do you know you've been doing fertility treatments for too long? When you go by yourself and aren't upset by it. Anyway, when the RE took me back to his office, I wanted to get straight to the business of what the hell to do with this mess we've made. There was a little small talk: Christmas. New Year's. Blah, blah, blah. Then, he started in all nice. "Well, you had good embryos." Spare me, buddy. I put on my suit of armor today. Let me have it. Then, he did. Be careful what you ask for!

He can't be sure that our one lonely embryo is any good. I agreed. It would be a waste of money doing an FET with just one embryo, in his opinion. He gave me a success of about 30% with one. Ick. When I asked about further immune testing, aside from the NK assay I had done, he didn't think it was necessary at this time. First, my NK assay came back at 7%. Sweet as hell! It needed to be below 15%.  My uterus does NOT eat babies! Hot damn! He explained that this test isn't 100%, but it is a good indicator. The further testing would be thousands of dollars. However, there were a couple of tests he could do on DH's swimmers. He feels that this is where we will find our issue. The test is only $200 and the treatment is cheap. Who knew I would someday call $200 cheap?

So, the plan is to start IVF....NOW. Sweet shit. When I get AF (Should be in the next couple of days. However, we all know it won't be. When you want it to come, it doesn't.) I'll start BCP. He wants me on them for 5 weeks to quiet any endo and get my hormones nice and calm. Then, it'll be like a blur. Hopefully, the hubs has the answer to our issues in his swimmers. Please, please, please. If so, he'll fix that before ER. Easy peasy. If he doesn't have any issues, that's good, too. Then, we'll still complete the fresh cycle, with the plan to transfer two this time. If, heaven forbid, it doesn't work, we will do the immune testing before doing an FET.

It seems so nice and neatly laid out. Most likely, there will be a few wrenches thrown at the plan as we go, but we'll adjust as necessary. As I drove home, I just kept asking myself what the heck I'd gotten into. But, by the look on the hub's face when I told him the plan, I think I made the best choice. At least he is excited this time.