Yep. Sure am. Right.From.The.Bottle. That's what bfn's for multiple days in a row will do to a person. I even went out after work and bought the actual brand name hpt's thinking that the evap line I was seeing on the internet cheapies would somehow turn into a real bfp. However, all they did was show no evap line and take away every ounce of hope that I had left for this cycle. So, that back fired. Shit. Oh, and I have cramps. Double shit.
Then, I cried. And, threw a water bottle across the room. Luckily, I'd already put the cap back on. When the hubs came home from work, he wanted to go out to eat. However, after noticing I'd already put my sweatpants on and taken my bra off, he realized that wasn't going to happen. I informed him that I'd rather not be around people, crawl into a corner, cry, and drink beer. He seemed to think I was kidding. Since we're not big drinkers and fresh out of beer, I took the 1/2 bottle of wine from the fridge and decided to save a dirty dish and drink right from the bottle. And, for the record, it's helping. I'm not sure if it's the alcohol or the throwing caution to the wind and drinking from the bottle that's doing the job. Does it really matter at this point?
The hubs made the comment that the RE might "give" us a free cycle now that this one failed. Yeah, I'm sure he wouldn't mind not feeding his family this week. I'm gonna go with a big ol' "hell no" and "I'm not asking that ridiculous question" for $1000 Alex.
Instead, I'll sell my kidney and do it over again. Minus the hope because I left that in this cycle.
HUGS!!!
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