Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Holy Crap. Still pregnant.

It's been over 12 hours and I'm still pregnant. Who woulda thunk it? Today, I called my RE's office and the nurse moved my beta up to tomorrow. She was so excited and she said that our RE kept asking if she'd heard anything from us. How sweet!

So, tomorrow is the day. I get that every pregnancy is different. But, here's what I need to happen to feel like things will be okay. First, I need those darn numbers to double. Our last pregnancy, not so much. The little one hung on until just over 8 weeks, but it was very touch and go and extremely stressful. I need there to be ZERO bleeding. I have had no pregnancies where there is zero bleeding. I would love for this to be the one. Even with Ayden. Lots and lots of red bleeding. I was young and dumb then and didn't know to be scared. Typically, the bleeding always started in week 5, so I need to make it past that with no bleeding. I mean, I'd rather make it further, but you know what I mean.

Then, most importantly, when we have our first ultrasound, I so desperately need the heartbeat to be high. Under 100? Not gonna calm me down. Our last pregnancy, the baby never got above 100bpm and each week, it dropped until I miscarried.

Then, I need to make it safely past 8w3d. That's when I might be able to breathe. Maybe. Having a loss sure sucks the fun out of things, huh?

But, for today, I am pregnant. 4w0d pregnant!

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