Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Third times...a charm?
Three run in's with pregnant announcements in two weeks. Really it should be outlawed to tell someone who just failed IVF all about your pregnancy. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT! It's not that I don't care about you and your lovely pregnancy. I just don't have enough grace built up to deal with you and your happiness. It's not that I'm not trying. I am. I just wonder how much one person is expected to take before this nightmare ends. It really doesn't make sense. At all. I try to be kind and smile and show that I'm happy. But, inside I'm puking in my mouth from the punch in my gut. The last one was yesterday and it literally took my breath away. It actually hurt to read the fb announcement. Considering the person who announced her pregnancy is now 6 months along and we *we're pretty good friends, she never even told me. I'm sure it is because of IF. I hate that IF makes people think they can't tell me their news. What's worse is that I hate how IF makes me feel toward these women. I know they didn't get pregnant to spite me. It's not them that I'm upset with. It's myself and the cards I was dealt. The hubs and I are financially stable. We love kids. We want kids more than we can even explain. But, for some reason we cannot, by any means we've tried, seem to have kids. Even with adoption, we've been waiting for years. Ayden is now 10. He's grown up as an only child. He's no worse for the wear, but I am so pissed at how having a sibling close in age to grow up with was ripped from him and it's not even his fault. He doesn't know any different, but I do. IF is a huge bitch and I hope she burns in hell.